Last soccer match @ national stadium

…and I managed to get a ticket to it! 4 hours before the match! yayyy…

It starts in 1.5 hours!

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

Running away…

Why do people run from woonie?

You have an overwhelming urge to sing we are the world over and over at the top of your lungs

‘Why do people run from you?’ at QuizGalaxy.com

WE ARE THE WORLD!
WE ARE THE CHILDREN!
WE ARE THE ONES WHO…

okay. no one’s left. rofl.

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

“God’s freakish mistake”

As many people who know me in Real Life may have already known, I do not possess the minimum amount of EQ to know how to interact with others without offending them/making a fool of myself/do stupid things at stupid times etc etc.

During choir practices back in RI, I am constantly reminded by Toh about the many bad habits I have, like dozing off in choir and having to use his choir practice time to do overdue homework and stuff. And now, when I applied for Chorale, instead of giving me a proper audition, he asked “How have you changed?” I said I had no idea, thinking that he could just give me a break and lemme have a chance to start anew and prove that in this new environment I won’t commit the same mistakes that I made back in RI. And what did that idiot do? He claimed that I do not want to grow up. Okay well I’d no idea what he was trying to say, but that was a freakin’ insult to me anyway. And well, at least I agree with the part where he said I don’t like pain. Indeed. Whenever someone insults me or says anything really hurtful about me, instead of improving from there, I just become traumatized. I wait till no one is looking and just cry to myself and believe that I’m such a fucking loser, that everyone believes that woonie’s such a loser so don’t be friends with him: he’ll be a burden in ur group work, he’ll not be able to write a decent essay, he’ll not be able to help you in your work so being friends with him has no benefit to yourself, he’ll just be a parasite leeching on your efforts. Such beliefs resulted in me believing that anyone who actually sympathizes with me is in fact not sincere and is in fact being sarcastic.

But then again, all these make me realize that I’m such a self-centred person. I only care about how I am. Like this morning, when I accidentally spilled a little curry, and when Siti said “it’s okay.”, I actually became confused because the curry ended up on my shoes, not hers, and that she should be wondering if I was okay. It took me a long long long while to realize that curry could have ended up on her, and I should be wondering if she was okay, because it was me who spilt the curry. Okay this might actually sound really common-sensical to you guys, but somehow, this is not second nature to me. This is probably why many people hate me. I only think about what’s in it for me, and fail to stop and think about others.

This brings me to my next point about how I can never find any good points about myself. After repeated scoldings by my parents and several teachers about things they don’t like about me, I had begun (in fact, I already have) forgotten all the good things that I actually had done, if any. I failed to get recognized in any CCAs I was in and I didn’t excel academically. What am I actually good at? I suck at soccer, I suck at almost any sports, I suck at communicating with others, I suck at interviews, I suck at essay-writing… I suck at almost anything at all. As a result, all I could write about in my Portfolio reflections is ranting about how lousy I was as a student throughout the year. The teachers couldn’t agree more. And because of this, I doubt I can ever pass any job interview I encounter. I feel guilty whenever I say/write a positive remark about myself, because I feel that this does not represent how I am as a whole. Which interviewer would want a person who can only talk about how lousy an employee he would be in the future? I’m gonna have real problems writing my resume in the near future.

My memory fails me, almost all the time. Which is why I dun take subjects like bio and geog, but that’s another story. Basic things like telling the difference between Sharyn and Priscilla is a real mystery for me. Remembering to do my work, remembering to get parents’ signatures, remembering to attend meetings, remembering to do certain administrative stuff for the CCA are some things that I would almost certainly fail to do, because I would simply forget about them. People speculate that I do not make the effort to remember, They just blast me for being such a unreliable and irresponsible person, when in fact I’m the one needing help to cure my short term memory.

…and there I go again. Only thinking about getting people to help me with my problems, not thinking about how I had inconvenienced others.

My life’s a joke… no. It’s a freaking mistake.

Help.

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And I realized that just by writing all that wouldn’t solve the problem at all.
Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

Photo Outing

There are some blogs which are idolize for their owner’s ability to turn a really boring day into an interesting one by means of (comparatively) better descriptive writing skills. That includes QuarterNote, dryl-e, ngiam and raining-noodles. Then there are the blogs which are idolize for the photographs which the owners had taken and posted on the blogs: reiterating and seeyf.

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Friday is probably my longest school day of the week. We have 5 no-breaks-in-between periods: student development x2, physics lab period x2 and econs tutorial. As for today, most of us couldn’t take it liaoz. We just went to the canteen and bought food to fill our stomach even though that would mean that we would be late for class for 5-10mins. Thank goodness our physics teacher is not the type who would hand out white slips that easily. Mr. Lim Boon Siong! XD Yi Jing and Yong Qian are like, damn bad la. When we were coming up team names for the GraVT Car Competition, they put in names like “!Ah Boon (with the click at the front)”, “Powerful Siong-ge” and “Lim Peh”. So when one team wins, it would be like, “Powerful Siong-ge ftw!” XD XD

Econs tutorial today was rather boring.

Haha so after econs my class decided to… mug at the SFL! Kinda fun la, but considering that other classes’ ideas of an after-lessons gathering are something like go play tennis and stuff… nvm. And in the end, we spent more time playing bingo than mugging. heh.

I later went off to gather with the photo club pple at about 3.30pm, and after stoning around for 20mins or so, we went down to orchard station… only to be greeted by heavy rain. So Plan A: going to botanical gardens has failed, time for Plan B: going to epSite. Imagine how amused we were to find that epSite had gone for renovation since 10Jan, and won’t be back till Feb. So the J2s decided to just let us wander about taking photos in groups, giving us the theme “umbrellas” and “food”. Mervyn, ChangXing, YongFeng and me formed a group and went down to Burger King. We took a photo of our food, and took another of 2 of our mini-umbrellas lying on the table next to us. Done. I think we did a pretty decent job of it. =p

I await photo critic session next fri during photog meeting. wahahahaa.

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

Random Thoughts

Random Thought 1: Royce (Lee) intends to join chorale. I wanna join too. =D

RT 2: Someone thinks I am / I look gay. you know I’m not.

RT 3: Someone help me I dun understand the effiency part of the econs notes.

RT 4: All but one paid up for the last class fund collection. good job guys.

RT 5: Can’t wait for photog outing tmr! =D

RT 6: but that means I’m missing bridge training tmr. \=

RT 7: In any case, I shall try to not look gay in the future.

RT 8: Somehow, I always reach school at 7.35am, except for one day when I woke up extra extra early. wahaha.

RT 9: Sore throat. =(

RT 10:  I still think I’m gonna screw up GP real bad, with or without reading more.

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

pre-MT House Party

Friday.

First 2 periods was Student Development, and the first of 3 sessions of some random sexuality talk entitled “no apologies”, which symbolizes us teenagers not needing to apologize to anyone if we make the right decisions. Something liddat la. I won this [omg why did they call it the] Abstinence Rocket [abbrv. A-Rocket], coz I found the speaker’s face in a large group of NS pple. wahaha. There’s this elastic thingy at the front of the A-Rocket, which u can pull so when u let go, the rocket would fly. But shortly after the talk, one of the stabilizers came off. Cheapskate.

Second 2 periods was physics lab period. We went around measuring stuff like ball bearings, sticks, the room temperature and length of the pendulum with stuff like vernier calipers, metre rule and the thermometer, which read 22degreesC. Fiona touched her freezing-cold hands at my neck and I was like, “What the Ffffffff…” The teacher looked up and stared. wtf.

And the last period was Econs tutorial. We played this game where we are countries with certain (and really limited) resources and we should use these resources to trade and make products. I think my group’s country turned out to be the poorest. No one wanted give us white paper, and we ended up with no shelter, lots of education and few food and clothing. Haha I actually contemplated declaring war on the other countries coz no one wanted to trade with us due to our lack of items. Whatever happened to peaceful trading?

[Between this time and the start of MT house party, there was RJ photo intro meeting and bridge club training.]

MT HOUSE PARTY!

To be continued…

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

From nightmares to reality

Since the new timetable came into place this week, I sensed that the nightmares I had during the hols that I won’t be able to survive RJ life will soon be a reality.

Take GP, for instance. Mrs Jai Singh reminds me of D’cruz. wtf. Both seemed really really nice during the first few lessons. However, I could already sense the biasedness [<-- got such a word, not? \=] she has for certain people in the class, just like D’cruz’s favourism for people who are naturally good in English/Lit. The very first thing she did was to ask for our Grade Point for English. All around me, people revealed their super high scores [okay maybe 3.6 isn't high, but it's relatively high compared to my score] to the whole class, while I stood up and revealed my sub-3 grade point for the subject in sec 4. Immediately, I added that I sucked really really bad at essay writing, hoping that she would get the hint that I want to actually learn something from the class, unlike the Disastrous Cruise to nowhere who often didn’t turn up for school, and when she does, she complains about those who are lousy at the subject and praise those who are good at it. I got overshadowed during lit discussions back in sec 4, and ended up getting a low class-participation score (yes! even class-discussion is graded for f-’s sake!), and the Cruise complains some more about my lack of activity in class. Right… and i bet the GP teacher will have a really really bad impression of me after reading my diagnostic essay. As i said, my essay writing… sucks. full-stop. And I screwed up even more this morning during gp lesson, when I could not even present the group work on definition-of-mass-media without a hint of confidence of what I wanted to say. Sigh. So right now, it’s certain that the GP teacher has a bad impression of me, and all I can do is to minimize the malani-like damage she can inflict on me as a result of this.

As for Bridge club, I got Benjamin Goh as my permanent partner. Problem is, he’s also in weiqi, and it has the same training times as bridge. So I really should make sure Ben is more interested in bridge than weiqi, or I would be pretty screwed due to the lack of practice together as a result of his not attending bridge training. Of course, this situation is highly unlikely considering that ben is so so very pro in weiqi and he would want to join weiqi club so he can join weiqi competitions and pwn everyone else. Sigh… I’d better find someone else to be my bridge partner. but WHO..?!! Everyone who’s in bridge club seems to have a partner already. Dumb Aaron Tan went to ask this random girl who’s supposedly very very very good in bridge to be his permanent partner, just a little while before I found him to ask him the very same question. =( And he still dares to tell me that maybe i shouldn’t join bridge, the way things are going. =(( And while I’m at it, he last minute say he couldn’t come watch my piano performance at YMS this sunday afternoon. Can’t blame him though: family lunch > friend’s performance. =((( And it seems like no one’s interested in coming. ah wells.

Two days of afternoon basketball sessions proved my theory [making it a law] that I really really really really really suck at basketball.

And omg, i took a nap during free period, and ended up missing 15mins of econs tutorial. [And this is where people start laughing at me and say "ggxx to u".]

At least, there’s still my fun job of class treasurer. All cash accounted for… so far. Must ask Quek how he stores the class fund. I think my present way of keeping it is rather… insecure. sheesh.

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Sooner or later, people will, just like in those dreams nightmares, start ostracizing me for being such an idiotic, anti-social, weird, uncaring, thoughtless loner, leaving me to wither in self-pity.

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

bridge

Contract bridge is fun indeed, though I still have so much to learn about it. I got BenGoh as my bridge partner. yay. I can start learning it proper together with him.

Standard-American Yellow Card (SAYC)
Online Bridge Base

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

CCA selection

Right. So I signed up for photo club, math club, bridge club, frisbee and soccer.

Soccer. I totally failed. All my (secondary sch) life I had been practising as goalkeeper so I can try for keeper in RJ Soccer. And i totally failed in trials on thursday. [just like lky: all his life, he believed in merger but ah wells.] Not surprising, considering I let in that slow rolling ball because I thought the ball was a little larger; I couldn’t save a lobbed shot; etc etc. And this is where blog readers would say “but hey, face it, you just suck as keeper.” And this is where I start reminding myself that I had just tried out for soccer for fun, and not to take the rejection too seriously.

Today! Bridge club meeting! Not floating bridge but sinking falling London contract bridge! I so totally fell in love with this game lor, so much that I decided to p0n math club introductory meeting. There’s so much to learn though, all the conventions and stuff, but nevertheless, fun! Aaron Tan refused to partner me coz he 1. already got a partner and 2. thought I was CMI case. Just you wait, Aaron. Ya, I’m still looking for a partner for bridge. Some random J3 guy told me that the bridge chairperson got no partner. hmm.  But if all else fails, I might drag markyeow in or something. (i think he’s already in floorball and chess club though, i think.) So right now, I’m partnerless. I guess i shall just learn the conventions myself first. SAYC! XD Right now I’ve learnt take-out doubles and response to 1NT. yayy.

Going out to celebrate some random OG mate’s birthday tomorrow. Farzana… spelt something liddat i think. If i’m not wrong it’s at sean’s house… not confirmed yet. Hopefully at least half the OG bothers to turn up. ><

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Photo club introductory meeting clashes with next week’s bridge club meeting. =((

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.

L’audeamus Day 2

Singing the batch song! You’re Not Alone by Hyqel Helmy. And I actually tried finding the song online. It took me a long long long while for me to realize that that guy is a J2 student.

Remember you’re not alone
Each time when you feel like you don’t belong
Just sing this song
And a thousand other voices by your side
Will join in and sing along

Remember you’re not alone
Each time when things start getting tough
And you’ve had enough
All you gotta do is reach out and you’ll find
The ties that bind
Remember you’re not alone

Right. So I went off to the MEP room to take the MEP diagnostic test, to see if we can take H3 music or not. Listened to this random orchestra piece, and answered questions about it. Then we had to compose an 8-bar music based on the first bar, using one of the 4 themes given. So I just anyhow whack. Yeah, that was basically what i did.

I found out later that i had no idea how different the clarinet and oboe sounded like.

…and the bunch of us doing the MEP test missed the learning of the first half of the batch dance (which later led to my screwing up of batch dance during o’nite, but that’s another story).

Station games. My OG sort of lost almost every game we played. Sean and a few others later started cheating a little so we won.

Daryl has got chocolate cheeks! two people blindfolded, one eats, one feeds, and we guide the feeder to put the food into the eater. Then we got the other feeder to put the chocolate-coated marshmallows into his mouth… not! =D

I got super traumatized at the ‘3 blind mice station’. Supposed to get blindfolded, go around finding puzzle pieces, show the piece to guiders if it’s the right piece, then go back. Then all of a sudden it got super super super noisy. And it’s precisely that which made me not hear anything sensible at all. I got bullied really badly by the station masters, who made sure I couldn’t hear anything from my fellow OG-mates. They shouted random wrong instructions at me: “put it down!” “You’re an idiot!” “Turn right!” “No! Not there!”

At that moment, I got this really odd feeling that I was in a really bad dream I couldn’t wake up from, where people start surrounding me and saying how pathetic I am. I remember having that dream a few years ago when I was the most unpopular guy in class in primary school. It sort of worsened after that day when Ms. See rejected my application to go Australia at the end of P6 coz “you won’t have any friends there and you would have a miserable time there.” And all i did was nod my head and accepted the harsh reality. Back to the station game, all I could do was think about how I will not be able to complete the game for forever and my OG-mates would start cursing me for being so useless in such games and subsequently hate me. The noise was fucking unbearable. I just covered my ears and tried not to think anymore. In the end, I’d no idea how i finally did it, but when i did, the first thing was someone telling me that I was stuck up there for a really long time. I lost my cool, flung the blindfold at one side and proceeded to one corner to sob. My ears were still hurting from the noise. Guan Yu came over to console me. Thanks.

My OG-mates proceeded to cheat in the game and we won.

Group photo!

Another group photo. Tzung Siang gots weird pose. Feng Shuo and Daryl… um… lol.

L’audeamus!
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I shall try composing a batch song for next year’s J1s. I feel so inspired.

Till the next time, it’s me, woonie, signing off.